It’s rarely easy to go out and find a job. Having a good resume can get you in the door. It can make people ready and willing to meet you. They’ll want to discuss your future with their company. However, poor use of body language can lose you the job just when you thought you’d won it.

The interviewer doesn’t say, “I want a person who can use body language.” At least that is probably not their first consideration. They are more likely looking for a person who is honest, confident, and has other qualities that will help them succeed.

The body language simply shows the interviewer if you have those qualities. Your job during the interview is to give yourself a fair shake. Display all your attributes with your body language so the interviewer will understand what a good worker you will be.

This starts before you walk in the door. You can practice in front of a mirror or videotape yourself in a role-playing situation of a job interview. Study your body language to find meanings you don’t intend. Then, be sure to be on time for the interview.

From the time you enter the office, someone may be noticing your body language. If you have to wait in a reception area, it’s best not to fiddle with notes from a briefcase. Instead, casually look through magazines or brochures to pass the time. Your body language will denote ease and confidence.

When someone comes to tell you it’s time to go in for the interview, enter the room as if you did it every day. Stride in with your head held high and your body moving with ease and assurance. Don’t be apologetic by your body language about the way you do it.

Before you start the interview, you should shake the interviewer’s hand. Give a firm, but not overpowering, shake. Always shake hands with your palm up. If your palm is down, it will imply that you are dominant. The interviewer will not be happy with this. Say your name so the interviewer will identify you with it.

Sit in the seat offered. If it is left up to you, sit in a seat beside or across from the interviewer so they will benefit from your use of body language. Try to determine how close the person is comfortable with you being. This is often obvious because of the arrangement of the furniture.

Try to avoid unacceptable body language. If you cross your arms across your chest, the interviewer will think you are being defensive. If you rub your nose, you might be seen as being dishonest. If you put your hands in your pockets, you may be judged as someone who is ill-at-ease or even someone with something to hide. These are types of body language you can easily get away from.

There is much to be learned about the body language of job interviews. There are many websites to find more information. Forbes has one such page. The Wall Street Journal devotes a webpage to it as well. The more you know about body language, the closer you are to getting that job.

All across the planet in every country and in every tribe, there are seven universal body language expressions. The seven expressions are Happiness, Sadness, Boredom, Fear, Anger, Surprise and Disgust. During part of my cross-cultural travels, I have seen each of these non verbal expressions true and consistent. Also, when I expressed these body language signs, I have been understood in cultures that did not know my primary language. My body language spoke loud and clear what I was feeling, experiencing or thinking.

The concept of universal body language is easy to understand when you look at the practical non verbal definitions of each of the seven expressions. When someone is happy, they smile, their eyes widen, and they are non-threatening. Laughing or chuckling can be evident. Positive physical touches are made by the person that is happy. Though in some cases I did not understand or hear what was being said of me, I could see that people were happy to see me by these happy universal body language expressions.

The same is true with sadness of course. Eyes can become wet and teary, there are no happy signals, and the face can look defeated or devastated. When it was time to leave a village after working on acts of kindness, such as fixing homes, etc., I could see that people had sullen sad body language. They could see my similar expression too as I tried to mirror what they felt, though I was happy internally to be returning home.

Boredom can be easily identified. Often, I was responsible for mentoring and teaching my team on certain skills. I could tell when nationals and team members where past the point of receiving by the universal body language of Boredom. When someone is bored, they begin looking at their watches, tapping their fingers of moving their legs. Yawning may take place or a look of distraction settles on the face. You can also tell when someone is distracted due to boredom when they focus or look at other things instead of the speaker.

The universal body language of fear is evident when someone cowers at the object of their fear. They sometimes put their hands up to their face to avoid seeing what it is that makes them afraid. Sometimes, they will also attempt to signal to others to do what they do, and hide or run.

Anger is a universal body language that expresses itself with symptoms like a red face, clinched fists, eyes fixed at the object one is mad at, etc. The body is often times in what could be called a, Ready Position. Meaning, the body is posed for a next step. An example of this is if someone is sitting in a chair and is leaning forward with their legs ready to lift their body at any second.

Surprise and disgust are almost similar. In both body language expressions, the mouth and eyes can open wide. But, when someone is surprised, it is like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. When someone is disgusted, the body and face reject what their experiencing, be it food or an intangible occurrence.

Finding a friend is often a mysterious process that seems to happen almost as if by magic. You meet them, see them in different situations, and somehow you end up being lifelong friends. Sometimes you can foster friendship and help to sustain it by using good body language.

When you are open to friendship, you might indicate that by showing an open palm or sitting with your legs apart. It is always important to maintain good eye contact with someone you are being friendly with. Just don’t stare at them.

In fact, you can attend to a person by focusing on that person with your ears, your eyes, and your body. You can also show them your feelings through your body language. You can project interest in them by tilting your head when they speak. Look at them in an alert and interested way.

Sometimes, just by spending time with a person, you are automatically giving them body language cues that you are willing to be friends. Show signs that you are listening to them and you will have a better chance at friendship.

Once you have established something of a friendship through body language and conversation, you can allow yourself to get even closer to the friend. Friends often stand close together. They will sometimes touch casually on the hand or arm. Men like to pat each other on the arm or give each other playful punches.

Empathy is an important aspect of friendship. If your friend can’t identify with your feelings, you might not feel that they’re very valuable as a friend. To have this value, you need to show empathy in your body language.

You can do this by leaning in when the person is speaking of matters of importance to them. Show your emotions through your body language. Laugh, smile, cry, or touch when it seems right. Hug them if it seems comfortable, but follow their body language cues to determine if it makes them feel anxious.

If you have made a friend, you will be happy with the experience. Yet, you can never neglect your friendship and assume it will always be the same. It’s up to you to send your friend the right body language signals to let them know they are still appreciated and cared for.

In studies, it has been shown that kids with learning disabilities have a hard time maintaining friendships. They can make friends easily. Yet, when the friend interacts with them on a daily basis, they have trouble understanding the friend’s body language. This leads to hurt feelings and ultimately to a loss of the friendship. If you are to avoid this pitfall, you must pay attention to your friend’s body language.

Body language can help you make a friend and help you to understand your friend better. By knowing about body language, you can use it to help you maintain a good relationship with your friend. Knowing body language and using it can be the difference between having an acquaintance and truly having a friend.

Everyone wants to be loved. The need to be loved is just as important as eating and having water. Beyond friendships and communities of family and structure, is the need to be romantically involved. In today’s society, romantic body language and relationships can happen between anybody, including those of the same gender. Because I can only identify with heterosexual relationships, I will elaborate on romantic body language between a man and a woman.

As a man, when a woman shows interest by looking at me for an extended period of time, I melt. I feel totally important and valued. I desire to be looked at and receive more romantic body language. Sometimes, a woman’s eyes become somewhat deep and so focused, that one cannot look away. The staring between the man and the woman becomes a trance between the two with a telepathic message that reads, “Take me, I’m yours.” On the other side of the token if a woman or man glance away from someone that is staring at them, it generally means they are not interested. It can also mean the person that looked away is shy, so the one that is interested should attempt to connect with the eyes again.

Romantic body language includes brushing, bumping or touching the other person in a safe zone, such as the arms, back, etc. A few years ago, a co-worker would often bump into me when she walked by. I got the impression that she did that many times subconsciously because she never looked back or apologized. I knew this was romantic body language because at times I would catch her staring at me from head to toe. This would stir me of course, but I had to restrain myself because I was married. I have observed when two people who have feelings for each other touch the other’s arm for an extended period, etc. Whether they are aware or not, these are romantic body language activities.

It is also said, that when the opposite sex points a body part at you or leans at you, this is romantic body language. In other words, if a woman is sitting across from me, and she constantly has her feet pointed at me, this indicates she is romantically attracted to me. I’ve personally noticed women lying down with their body pointing at me when we are at a park with other people. Interestingly, they have eventually expressed a desire to be with me.

I remember in my High School days walking with a girl on the Coney Island boardwalk in Brooklyn, NY. We were newly involved as close friends but things were heating up between us. She began leaning towards me quite a bit when we were walking. At one point, she was on my right side. When I looked over at my right she was gone. I quickly looked over to my left and noticed she had lost her balance and was moving quickly in the direction she was leaning. We both laughed. But from that moment on, we held hands.

Back in January of this year, I attended a youth workers conference in Indianapolis, IN. Among the several workshops I took was one on developing communication skills. The two presenters were a husband and wife team largely known in the youth workers field. For a youth workers conference, they were a lot older than the workshop enrollees; but their body language exuded confidence, experience and a sense of enjoyment in sharing what they’ve learned.

I was surprised to hear that communication is 99% body language and only 1% verbal. I’m not sure how accurate that is or what tests prove that. But during the class we engaged in several body language exercises that prove this principal.

In one exercise, each of the students in the workshop lined up against the wall. One by one, we simply walked to the podium and introduced ourselves as we were being recorded by video. We were told to simply say our name, what state we came from and our job title. We were warned that a bright spot light would be shining on us when we stood up on the podium. They encouraged us to ignore the bright light.

When it was my turn, I gave my best greeting and felt confident it stood out from everyone else’s. But, during video playback we were told that no audio would be played. The instructors wanted us to see what our body language was communicating. Very interesting observations were made. The body language of many told how the light did distract them. Some consciously or unconsciously raised their hand to shield their eyes from the light. A good amount of people used hand gestures during their greeting. A majority of people seemed unanimated, moving their lips but not their head or eyes.

When it was my turn, I was expecting a lot more than what the others presented. Instead, I too seemed unanimated. My overall body language came across as not wanting to be at the workshop, which is exactly how I felt deep inside. I was deeply disappointed at myself and wondered how many times I stood in front of people thinking I was inspirational but in reality the opposite.

Consciously, I now strive to be like the handful of animated peers in that workshop. There were about five individuals that were truly charismatic in their body language. I still remember one, stepping up to the podium and taking the mike with gusto. While looking at the camera and audience, he gestured with his head a hello by nodding his head up quickly. Everyone laughed when he did that because it truly stood out from everyone else.

Another long lasting principal I remember from the workshop, because I wrote it down of course; is that we remember the mannerisms of a speaker more than their speech. When you think of a recent sermon or presentation you heard, what do you remember? Do you remember the whole message or the way it was presented?