Psychotherapists have many tools at their disposal for helping clients overcome stress and related issues. One of these tools is called rational-emotive behavior therapy (REBT), which used to be known as rational-emotive therapy (RET). This system of therapy was pioneered by Dr. Albert Ellis decades ago, and today its principles and techniques are employed in the more mature system known as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Dr. Ellis was a firm believer in the idea that an individual could help himself or herself overcome the destructive thinking tendencies that directly determine emotional responses such as stress. He created what is now known as the ABC model of psychotherapy.

A stands for Activating Event and is the external situation or event that is wrongly believed to cause C, the emotional Consequence. What stands between A and C, however, is B, a belief. This belief can be either rational or irrational, and Dr. Ellis believed that all negative emotional states are the result of irrational beliefs at point B.

The ABC model of psychotherapy could rightly be called the ABCDE model of psychotherapy, since the model has two additional components, D and E. D stands for Disputation and refers to a conscious effort on the part of the individual to challenge and uproot the irrational beliefs at B that are causing the negative emotional consequences at C. This disputation subjects the irrational, stress-causing beliefs to a scientific, logical, empirical, rational method of questioning. If the individual succeeds in recognizing and uprooting the irrational beliefs that are causing his or her current state of distress, the result is E, the Effect. E is ideally cognitive, emotional, and behavioral — cognitive in the sense that an irrational belief is replaced by a rational belief; emotional in the sense that a negative emotion such as stress is replaced either by a positive emotion or by a milder negative emotion that is more realistic; and behavioral in the sense that the individual will not respond to similar events in future with similar irrational beliefs.

There are various subtleties that we have overlooked for the sake of simplicity. One of these subtleties involves the vicious cycle that can result when irrational beliefs and negative emotional states have an influence on behavior and perception, leading to all sorts of self-fulfilling prophecies. In fact, perceptions, cognitions, emotions, and behaviors are highly interrelated. A simple demonstration of this fact can be observed if you try to be sad while smiling, or downbeat while walking at a fast pace with your head up high and your chest out.

An example will help tie the whole process together and illustrate how the ABCDE model of psychotherapy can be used to deal with stress and other negative emotions.

Let us suppose that you are running late for work and that you are feeling stressed out about the situation. The ABCDE breaks down as follows:

A - the Activating Event is that you are running late for work.

B - the irrational Belief we will examine below.

C - the emotional Consequence of B is that you are feeling stressed and highly anxious.

Let us now move to Disputation. You could ask yourself “What is the irrational belief that is making me feel this way?” Quite likely, the belief will be along the lines that you absolutely must be punctual at all times and that it is catastrophic when you are late. You could then ask yourself “Why is it catastrophic if I am late?” “Because,” you may answer, “I could get fired.” If you wanted to, you could keep examining this and ask yourself what would be catastrophic about being fired, and you could end up surprising yourself with where such persistent questioning can take you. But let us assume that being fired would indeed be the end of the world. You could still dispute the idea that you would be fired for being late. After all, doubtless you have seen other coworkers arrive late on occasion with total impunity. Maybe even the boss is late from time to time.

Eventually you may come to the realization that being late is nothing worth stressing out over, and this rational realization would be accompanied by a corresponding change in emotional state. You could take charge of your behavior by devising ways to ensure that you arrive early to work the vast majority of the time. You would now be at E, the Effect.

As an individual functioning in the world, you can have only three kinds of problems: problems with yourself, problems with your relation to objects, and problems with your relation to other people. Problems with yourself may loosely be described as problems with your health; problems with your relation to objects may loosely be described as problems with your wealth; and problems with your relation to other people may loosely be described as problems with your relationships.

Health, wealth, and relationships — the big three. These three spheres of your life form a triangle in which stress can develop at any time. Mastery of your three spheres results in a substantial decrease in the stress you experience on a daily basis.

Ideally, you should always be working on some area of improvement in each of your three spheres. Humans, by nature, are most happy when they are growing, not when they are stagnant. As long as you feel that you are growing in each of your three spheres, happiness is always yours for the taking.

Balance is the key here. If you focus too much on one sphere to the detriment of the other two spheres, you will most probably invite stressors in those two spheres of your life. There are plenty of instances from everyday life that attest to this fact: the workaholic who has no time for his family and loved ones and who develops ulcers and other health conditions through neglect of his physical health; the fitness fanatic who is so fixated on running the extra mile or lifting the extra kilogram or admiring his physique in the mirror that his relationships go down the toilet and who just scrapes by on his income; and the romantic husband who is not making enough money to deal with the many factors involved in owning a home or raising kids and who dies at an early age from heart disease. Although these are all extreme examples, the point is that you need to strive for balanced progress in the three facets of your life.

You can never eliminate stressors entirely from your life, but by mastering your stress triangle, you can dramatically reduce both the frequency and the severity of stressors.

Health is holistic health: the health of your body, mind, emotions, and, if you are spiritually inclined, your spirit. Again, balance is the key, since you are unlikely going to find much happiness in life if your body is fighting fit, your mind is sharp, but you have the emotional maturity of a three-year-old kid and throw temper tantrums by the hour. Nor would it be wise to focus on the development of your spirit at the expense of your body, as many ascetics are wont to do. There is no need to dwell on the specifics of health, for the way to healthy living is now a matter of common sense.

Wealth is all about financial security, having enough money to satisfy your needs and wants and then some. You should try to gain a basic understanding of economics, finance, and the markets. There are many good guides out there for starting out on the path to financial freedom. Beware of get-rich-quick schemes. On the other hand, do not be too quick to dismiss opportunities that may seem to go against the grain of conventional practice. Thinking like the herd will keep you in the herd. If you are currently doing underpaid grunt work, make it a goal to become self-employed and independent, the captain of your own ship. Consider taking part-time or evening courses to gain additional qualifications in whatever fields interest you. Never settle for less than you feel you deserve. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you and your current job are welded together like inseparable Siamese twins.

Relationships require constant nurturing. Love dies and fights occur when the initial sparks have died as a result of gross neglect. Always be on the lookout for new adventures that you and your partner can participate in together. Do not take your friends for granted. Be open to meeting new people at all times. Work on your communication skills, your listening skills, and your overall people skills. Take a look along the psychology aisle at your local bookstore for books about developing interpersonal skills. Learn to express yourself.

What we have termed the stress triangle can be termed the life triangle. What is the state of your triangle?

The first connection between natural remedies and mental health was established when it was discovered that niacin cured pellagra. Since then, deficiencies in vitamins and minerals have been linked to all kinds of mental problems, including both stress itself and the proclivity toward stress. Even happy people can become depressed as the result of a niacin or folic-acid deficiency, reports Earl Mindell, author of The Vitamin Bible.

Dr. R. Shulman reported in the British Journal of Psychiatry that forty-eight out of fifty-nine psychiatric patients had folic-acid deficiencies.

The nutrients important in the reduction of stress are listed below:

Vitamin B1 (thiamine) — taking more than the average can alleviate depression and anxiety attacks.

Vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) — the body uses this vitamin to produce natural antidepressants such as dopamine and norepinephrine.

Pantothenic acid — a natural stress-reliever.

Vitamin C (ascorbic acid) — another natural stress-reliever.

Vitamin B12 (cobalamin) — assists in maintaining a healthy nervous system, improves concentration, increases energy levels, and helps relieve stress and irritability.

Choline — a natural sedative.

Vitamin E (dry form, alpha-tocopherol) — aids in the transport of oxygen to the brain, vital for maintaining a stable mood.

Folic acid — deficiencies have been known to contribute to a number of different mental illnesses.

Zinc — essential for a healthy brain.

Magnesium — a mineral that combats stress and its negative effects on the body.

Manganese — reduces stress and irritability.

Niacin — needed for a healthy nervous system.

Calcium — alleviates stress and has a calming effect.

Tyrosine — speeds up the production of the natural antidepressants dopamine and norepinephrine.

Tryptophan — in conjunction with vitamin B6, niacin, and magnesium, produces the neurotransmitter serotonin, the king of natural anti-stress chemicals. (Note that many popular medications used to treat depression and anxiety actually work their magic by increasing the level of serotonin in the brain.)

Phenylalanine — another trigger of the natural antidepressants dopamine and norepinephrine.

So how do you ensure that you are not deficient in any of these vitamins and minerals? The easiest way of going about this is to take a daily multivitamin and mineral supplement. There are many different brands of multivitamins on the market today, but you need not spend your cash on a brand purporting to be of premium quality; a one-a-day generic multivitamin will work fine for most people. Most of the generic multivitamins are low in vitamin C, however, so you may wish to buy an additional container of vitamin C capsules.

Another helpful supplement is fish oil. You have probably heard that there are good fats and bad fats when it comes to diet and nutrition. Well, fish oil is a source of good fats, otherwise known as essential fatty acids (EFAs). A vast number of people are deficient in these essential fats. Taking fish oil daily will allow your body to normalize EFA levels. One sign that this is working is that your skin will take on a very smooth texture. You may also find that your moods are far more stable than usual.

A herbal supplement that many people find helpful in dealing with stress is St. John’s wort.

Be sure you are getting enough fiber in your diet. The results of not getting enough fiber are enough to cause stress in anyone.

Drinking plenty of water is a piece of advice that you have probably had drilled into your head on many occasions. Although the conventional wisdom of drinking a certain number of glasses of water each day has actually been challenged scientifically in recent times, there can be no doubt that staying properly hydrated is vital for healthy skin, healthy kidneys, and a healthy body overall. Moreover, what is one of the classic symptoms of dehydration? Stress, irritability.

Nutrition for stress-free living is not merely a matter of what to take into the body, but also of what not to take into the body. Excessive smoking, excessive amounts of alcohol, and the use of illegal drugs wreak havoc on the body and cause unnecessary amounts of stress. Sugar, saturated fat, artificial preservatives/flavors/colors, and substances that your body may not react well to (such as lactose, gluten, and caffeine) all start a chain reaction that ends in stress, among many other problems. If you really want to stop harmful substances from entering your body, consider switching to organic food.

A fast every now and then is a natural form of detox. You may wish to incorporate intermittent fasting into your diet.

“Hi, my name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic.” “Hi, my name is Jill, and I take ownership of my eating problem.” If those two sentences pretty much characterize the images that flash through your mind when you consider reaching out to a support group for whatever it is that is causing you stress and anxiety, you can now take a moment to relax. The Internet has made the so-called anonymous support group of the past a largely irrelevant creature facing a rapidly nearing extinction.

No matter what is troubling you and keeping you from enjoying your life to the full, help is literally a few clicks of the mouse away. The Internet is rife with virtual support groups created to support those individuals who are suffering anything from loneliness and shyness to urinary incontinence and hemorrhoids. A quick Web search will most probably give you hundreds of results for forums, newsgroups, and online communities that have something to do with your condition or troubles. And unlike offline support groups, the support groups you will find online offer a great deal of anonymity. (We say a great deal of anonymity rather than complete anonymity, since as any Net savvy person will tell you, the Internet and anonymity are not exactly the best of friends just yet. You may like to keep that in mind as you spill your guts online.)

There are also Web sites where you can receive free advice from medical doctors and other qualified professionals. What someone in person would normally charge you an arm and a leg to receive, you can get for absolutely nothing online. As always, though, be careful with any advice you receive from a stranger online, qualified or not. Despite the technological marvels of the Internet, it has yet to eliminate the need for a second opinion.

If loneliness is causing you stress and anxiety, there are numerous social-networking Web sites that allow you to find and interact with people who live in your local area. This is a great way to meet people who share your interest in that one hobby of yours that no one else you know seems to enjoy. You can also use the Internet to pursue new hobbies and pursuits that pique your curiosity. Chances are you have already used an instant-messaging program to chat with your buddies in real time. Instant messaging is a quick and easy way to meet new people, especially with the instant-messaging clients that have an integrated people-search feature.

Always wanted to attend art classes? Find a few video tutorials online that will guide you through the fundamental techniques. That way, you can tell right away whether landscape painting, profile drawing, or whatever else it is that has caught your interest will really be the thing for you. Always wanted to sign up for a boot camp but are afraid of what you would be getting yourself into? Check out videos online that show what takes place at a typical boot camp. Been considering buying a dog to keep you company but are unsure which breed of dog would be right for you? If you are good with your Internet searches, you can probably find a huge collage of different dog breeds or a video compilation that rapidly flashes through your available options.

So keep in mind that you need not suffer from stress and anxiety all alone. There are plenty of people out there just like you. Do not be afraid to reach out to others, whether online or offline. Although this article is now beginning to sound like a government-sponsored television commercial, the help you seek is always yours for the taking.

Epictetus, the Greek Stoic philosopher, is reported to have said, “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of those things.” We would do well to remember this piece of sage wisdom when confronting the seemingly stressful realities of everyday life. How often do your views distort your circumstances and introduce needless stress into your life?

Circumstances may indeed be fixed and out of your control, but your views are yours for the changing. Sometimes simply taking a different perspective in thought can cause an immediate relief in feeling. An ample illustration of this fact can be seen in how two similar events can produce two vastly different reactions. Take, for instance, an event familiar to us all: driving around downtown and encountering one red traffic light after another. Even on those occasions when you are not in a hurry to be anywhere in particular, is it not true that such an insignificant chain of events can infuriate you to the point where you are cursing the gods and bemoaning your fate? And yet at other times you drive around in a relaxed daze, impervious to the onslaught of red. Indeed, who does not enjoy sitting around on the couch doing sweet nothing? Revealing is the fact that a car is pretty much a mobile couch!

Epictetus divided the nature of reality into two categories: things we can control and things we cannot control. The former he termed prohairetic things; the latter he termed aprohairetic things. Examples of prohairetic things include your thoughts, your values, your beliefs, your morals, your opinions, your desires, and your emotions. Examples of aprohairetic things include food served cold, late parcel deliveries, slow trains, long lines, noisy lawnmowers, and red lights. Although you might not be able to achieve the Stoic goal of complete detachment from aprohairetic reality (after all, being mugged in a dark alley is not simply an inconvenient occurrence!), if you are honest with yourself, you will no doubt appreciate how much you tend to overreact to the most inconsequential of happenings, thereby introducing stress into what could otherwise be a blissful existence — at least until the next bill arrives.

The simple fact is that stress does not exist in the events around you. Stress is a product of your own mind. If stress existed in events themselves, then everyone would react to so-called stressful events with the same level of stress. Yet surely you know from your own experience that different people have different stress thresholds, different stress fuses, as it were. Some people grin their way through a tornado, whereas other people grate their way through a lottery win (”What am I supposed to do with all this money? What if I do not manage it properly? Why did this happen to me?”!) Perhaps the headline found in one national newspaper speaks volumes: WOMAN ‘UNEXCITED’ BY $16M LOTTERY WIN.

Epictetus taught that the individual who succeeds in firmly establishing the distinctions between the prohairetic and the aprohairetic will live a life unencumbered by the stress-inducing tendencies of the untamed human mind. Such an individual will reach the state known as ataraxia, or a serene state of mind. Another quote from the master stress-blesser: “I must die. Must I then die lamenting? I must be put in chains. Must I then also lament? I must go into exile. Does any man then hinder me from going with smiles and cheerfulness and contentment?”

Epictetus was not the only Stoic philosopher who understood the self-created nature of stress. Marcus Aurelius, another philosopher writing in the Stoic tradition, said, “Outward things cannot touch the soul, not in the least degree; nor have they admission to the soul, nor can they turn or move the soul; but the soul turns and moves itself alone.”

Or perhaps more relevant to our own times, particularly with the rising gas prices of the day: I must dump my lead foot on the brake and stop at yet another red light. Does anything hinder me from gloating over the few cents I have saved with my increased fuel economy? My spouse has cheated on me. Does anything hinder me from pulling out the prenup and winning custody of the PlayStation?